Generation Molly

An icon for a generation of movie-goers, ’80s star Molly Ringwald moves on from “The Breakfast Club” and into…her 40s

By Sarah DeRoo

Twenty-five years ago, a little flick called “The Breakfast Club” made its debut in theaters nationwide. Hot on the heels of  “Sixteen Candles,” another hit film by director John Hughes, it starred a cast of young actors as a group of raucous teens doing what teens do best: cope with angst. And it made bona fide stars out of its young actors, including the redheaded ingénue Molly Ringwald.

One year later, Ringwald was headlining again, this time in “Pretty in Pink.” With all three films destined to be cult classics, Ringwald was cemented in the minds of a generation as the perky, conflicted and sensitive teen who marched to her own beat. While her fans graduated and new generations of movie lovers took hold of the Hughes classics, Ringwald, both on screen and in the hearts of many, has remained perennially 16. 

“In the minds of most viewers, I will always be sitting on a table eating birthday cake with a hunky senior,” she writes in her recently released book “Getting the Pretty Back.”

But Ringwald has grown up, and she’s taking her generation of women along through an entirely new level of angst—her 40s—in her book.

Written at a turning point in her life, the colorful book blends real-world advice with I’ve-been-there anecdotes for a laughable, lovable take on life after a certain age.

When not playing author, the 42-year-old married mother of three (daughter Mathilda is 7, and twins Adele and Roman are 16 months) stars in the hit ABC Family show “The Secret Life of the American Teenager,” only this time playing the mom.

Generation Molly is all grown up.

 

You had made movies prior to “Sixteen Candles,” “The Breakfast Club” and “Pretty in Pink.” But these three films really transformed you into Hollywood’s “it” girl almost overnight. What was that experience like at such a young age?

It was exciting, but also frightening. It seemed to happen kind of suddenly. I’ve always tended to be a very private person. People are surprised at that because it seems like if you’re a performer you should be an extrovert. But in fact I’m sort of shy, and that’s one of the reasons I loved performing—I felt like I was able to express myself through my characters. But to have all that interest and focus on me was a bit overwhelming.

 

The characters you played are beloved by generations of movie-goers. What was it about them that spoke to so many people?

I think for the most part they were outsiders—even the character in “The Breakfast Club,” though she’s the popular girl. I think the message is that it doesn’t matter what we look like or who we are—we all feel sort of misunderstood, insecure and awkward. I think that was something people really related to.

 

What is it like to have generations of people out there who feel like they grew up with you and have this connection with you?

Luckily, people usually associate me with very fond memories—their first date or a slumber party. There’s a lot of nostalgia wrapped up in it, so people are really sweet toward me. They’re sort of predisposed to like me [laughs], which I think is really nice.

 

In 1986 you were on the cover of Time. In the story, director John Hughes called you “a bankable box-office attraction.” But just a few years later, you stepped away from Hollywood. Why?

I don’t think it was totally conscious. I was not inspired by the roles I was being offered. And I think I just needed to be out of the public eye for a while. I needed to know what that felt like.

 

So you left and moved to France. Why Paris?

I’m a Francophile. I went to a French school as a teenager. And it was just one of those moments where I thought if I’m ever going to do this, I need to do it now. So I sort of leapt into the abyss. [laughs] And it was great. I don’t regret it for a moment.

 

What did your time in France allow you to do that you couldn’t have done in Hollywood?

Well, I definitely never would have learned to speak French as well as I do now. I wouldn’t have had the time of self-reflection. I wouldn’t have worked on my writing. And I wouldn’t have known what it feels like to live outside the public eye.

I feel like being a celebrity kind of puts you in this fame bubble where you are out of touch with what’s going on in the real world—partly because celebrities have to protect themselves. I wanted to know what it felt like to not live inside that bubble. And that’s what France did for me.

 

When did you decide to move back to the U.S.?

I think it was really when I did my first movie in French. It was sort of a goal for me to do something like that, and I was really proud of myself. But once I achieved that, it made me want to act in English again. [laughs]

And I just missed home. I missed being closer to my friends and family. Honestly, I missed America.

 

What made you decide to write a book?

I’d been thinking about it; I was actually going to write a book like 10 years ago. Then I decided that was not the book I wanted to write. [My agent] said, ‘When you’re ready, the book you want to write is going to come to you.’ And it’s true.

The idea came just as I was turning 40. I’ve always gone to books for solace, for instruction or for escape. At that time, I looked around and realized there were no books I wanted to read about this time in my life. Everything was so self-help-y. Not that there’s anything wrong with self-help books—but I wanted to read something fun and stylish and uplifting and inspirational. So I wrote the book I wanted to read. And I wanted it to be this universe that you can dive into, which is why I had it illustrated by my favorite illustrator, Ruben Toledo.

 

What was the process of writing your book, “Getting the Pretty Back” like— especially writing while pregnant with twins?

I sold the book in September and got pregnant in November. So yeah, I was pregnant with my twins the whole time I was writing it. I delivered the manuscript about two weeks before I gave birth, so a lot of it was written in bed! [laughs]

I know I said that I wrote the book I wanted to read, but it really became very pronounced when I was writing because I was talking about things like fitness and feeling good [while] I’m huge with these twins. Writing it was like saying affirmations; it was really something I was telling myself as much as the reader.

 

How would you describe “Getting the Pretty Back”?

It’s like sitting down with a girlfriend and talking about life. I have that sort of added bonus, like you said, that people feel like they know me or grew up with me. I think that can be really comforting, in a way, that somebody you’ve known for all this time was going through the same things.

It’s hard to get older. It’s hard to have kids. It’s hard to have relationships end. All of those issues are things that I’ve gone through. I’ve had moments in my life where I’ve questioned what I’m doing, and how to get back to what’s important to me. And that’s really what my book is about. It’s about getting back to what’s important to you.

When I talk about ‘getting the pretty back,’ it’s really about getting that inspiration back, that thing you had when you were younger that was sort of beaten out of you as life goes on. [laughs] It’s about finding a way back to that excitement, that whimsy. It doesn’t necessarily happen naturally. We sort of have to take it for ourselves and find time for ourselves.

 

What is it about turning 40 that is so different than turning 30?

I think it’s strictly a sociological thing. There’s a stigma attached to that number. But our life expectancy is so much longer now and people are doing everything so much later now that I think 40 today is completely different than 40 in my mother’s generation.

In my mother’s generation, it was like you’re done! [laughs] That’s it. You’re no longer considered a sexual being. In so many ways in our society, women become invisible as they age.

 

How do you feel about American attitudes toward women as they age?

I think it’s such a shame, I really do. There are other countries that don’t fetishize youth the way our country does. I don’t know why. You could say it’s Hollywood or you could say it’s the fashion industry. I think the fashion industry is more guilty than Hollywood. Fashion is so youth-obsessed. You look in these magazines at clothes that are ostensibly for women, but they’re being worn by 14-year-olds who are not even developed yet. I think there’s something bizarre about that.

 

When you lived in France, did you notice a difference between the way French women feel about themselves compared to American women?

Definitely. Women in France have this confidence and allure when they’re older. I don’t know if it comes from their mother’s example or from DNA. [laughs] But they do seem to have this sort of innate sense of confidence that I really love and really respond to. And I try to instill that in my daughters.

 

How do you hope to do that with your daughters?

I think by example and with communication. We definitely are trying to raise my oldest like that. My youngest is still only 16 months. But we talk to [Mathilda] all the time about what it means to be a woman, and the fact that she can do anything that she wants to do.

 

You write about the importance of taking time for yourself in life. What do you do when you’re having a bad day? You have bad days, right?

Oh God, yes. [laughs] Absolutely. But here is one of the advantages of getting older: When you’re a teenager and have a bad day, you feel like it’s going to last forever. You don’t have any context.

As you get older, you know that as bad as things are or as good as things are, life takes extraordinary turns and you have to roll with it. You have to take a deep breath and say, ‘This too shall pass.’

And I go for a run or go to the gym. I’ve discovered that as much as I don’t really particularly care for working out, it’s a big confidence booster. I also write or hang out with my babies. You can’t really be in too bad of a mood when you’re holding a big, fat, delicious baby in your lap.

 

One of the messages in your book that made us smile was: “Beautiful underwear is the ultimate morale booster.” What are your favorite messages in the book?

I think things like that are really important. [laughs] It’s like keeping an organized desk. If you keep an organized desk, you have an organized mind. I feel that’s what the underwear thing is like. You can go around all day and you have this little secret that’s just for you. Even if no one else sees it, you know how beautiful you look.

I feel that people should be able to read the book as pure entertainment. But if I was to pick a message of the book it would be confidence. When I was going through the editorial process, I was checking how often I was using certain words. And I noticed that the words confident and confidence came up so many times. And that is really what the book is about. It’s about having confidence in yourself.

 I think confidence makes women beautiful because they feel beautiful. I think it makes you feel powerful, and if you feel powerful you can achieve extraordinary things. I’ve always found that I could just do just about anything I’ve wanted to if I believed I could do it.

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